Friday, February 22, 2013

HOME



I've heard this song playing in many different movies. May it be a happy movie, or a sad one. Stuck in my head and singing in my mind, I realized how the lyrics of this song expresses everything I feel, all my life. 

Everything I feel about myself and everything I feel about You. Though you don't read this blog( he reads but i'm suspecting he doesn't Read. READ. gets? Like reading in between lines. hehe ) and remember everything I write you, but I don't mind repeating them over and over. Until we find forever.

Our story goes way back 2005, I was just starting a new phase of my life enrolling again, shifting to another University and course. I was telling my mind to focus academically, since i'm not much of an "extra-curicular" activities-kind-of-girl. Had my share of books, laughs and friends then one day crossed path with this man.

Honestly, I wasn't feeling anything since I was focusing more on my studies. I was the same I-can-wear-anything-even-if-i-look-like-a-boy kind of girl. A tomboy outside, but a little woman inside. I was 20 and technically inexperienced. haha. 

I've had such "manly" encounters way back, but I haven't had the real thing. Everything was just girly, puppy, fun-ny, fling-y, and "you're-just-a-sister-to-me experience. The last one was kinda heartbreaking and shameful, tell me about it.

A common friend introduced us, thanks to you http://thechainofsweetdestiny.blogspot.com. I could still remember how ugly and sweaty I was that day for i've been running and gasping for air when he said "HI."

No sparks. Series of events came after, one was even shameful to the point by that incident we exchanged numbers.

A lot of men/boys have been texting/sending me messages. Some even wrote handwritten letters, but never have I imagined reading "I LOVE YOU" for a first. I said to myself, how interesting this man could be that of all those that i've crossed paths with, he's the only one who ever said I LOVE YOU to start our very first technically formal conversation.

Well, that's how players (and literally) do it.  I found myself falling for a Basketball player. When I said player, he plays both on the court and the girls. Imagine how scared I was.

I found out I was falling for him after hundreds of messages and numerous calls. It could be the unending meetings and conversations that goes with lists of infinite RISKS. A lot could happen in an hour, how much more in a day, mine was a month.

The very fist time I felt something true, could mean lies if you think it through.

Risks, risks, risks what the hell?! I told myself. When you love, or should I say, when you felt Love  you suddenly see yourself without boundaries. You see the other person through and through. You listen to nobody but yourself. I've decided to give in and give Love a try no matter what it will make me or where it would take me.

It was the HAPPIEST day of my life.

Of course there were A LOT of things that happened after that happiest day. There were the:

- I feel so stupid days
- I am angry days
- Why am I lied at days
- Did you cheat on me days
- Jealous days
- I'm going to kill you days
- I hate you days
- Miss you so much days
- I feel like I've cried a river days
- Our fights are like in the TV shows/telenovela days
- Bothered days
- Near breaking up days
- and all the days you guys experienced, I probably experienced them all too.

But I chose to be happy. I chose to stay the same. I chose to never break up and to believe in whatever he says. Our relationship was, is and will never be perfect but we've seen far more than that. Trials have passed and glory days has ended but at the end of the day, we still tell each other how we don't want this to last.

I now understand that relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. It could sometimes be compared to something rotten. It is up to you, if you want to have a lasting partnership. You would memorize the value of patience and honesty as well as appreciation. Jealousy will always be there you just need to keep it in box for safe keeping. Trust will wore out, but don't worry it will always grow and come back. Learn how to be contented, because everything will follow.

You will both learn from each other everyday. Up until now there are still things that I get surprised to.
Fight when you need to fight because I believe in a normal relationship. Until you you realize that both of you have matured enough to laugh and not fight.

God will always be number one. I once asked him to give me this kind of man and he gave me a sign through a white rose that was given to me by a friend out of the blue after hearing mass. I prayed hard to be in this relationship because without him, we would be just nobody.

I'm afraid I may not be able to share to all of you everything, but hey, all memories can't be expressed through words. Sometimes I just smile alone, and I realize how many memories flashing back before my eyes.

I found life after life.
Love after being alone for a long time.
I felt HAPPINESS.

Love + Life = Happiness.

I dedicate this song to the man who keeps my heart still and beating.

I LOVE YOU FOREVER.




Home is where the heart is,


-Burigs

6 comments:

  1. forever in love ang burigs

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  3. Replies
    1. hahah may anonymous pa amp! hahahhahahaha. tamis talaga teh. natikman mo? heheh

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    2. hindi ako yung anonymous ugok ka.

      Delete